its 7 in the morning, and here i am writing this entry thinking what should and what shouldn’t i write here. writing used to be my one and only effective way to express myself .
i wrote to my parents whenever i argued with them,its good i think but the sad part is-i never have the guts to pass it to them,i threw pages and pages of letters away after writing it.
i wrote to someone too on his 18th birthday,it supposed to be sweet coz it was the first letter and guess what? i was told not to do it again coz its a waste of time reading it. he don’t have the spare time to read a stupid 2 letter because he was too busy, kononnya.
it hurts so much.
i don’t even bother for any replies, i just wish that the person that i wrote to appreciate what i have written in the letter.
i used to write emails to my mum too for quite sometime. at least she do reply each and every mail i sent. i wrote to Jade and Jamie and they do appreciate it and Jade even replies me.
do you know that it means so much to me?
most of the time people tend to take others for granted, they tend to forget what others have done for them
and how much scarification they have made, how much tears ,
how much pain they have been through for them
- in conclusion, most of us are lack of appreciation.
its getting hard to write when you know that people that are close to you, people that you meet everyday in life,
people that knows you but you don’t even know who are them,
people that you are forever disappointed in, people that hope that they will never appear in your life to read your blog..
it feels so weird when sometimes one side of me wish that people will read the things that i have wrote
and another side of me wish that no one will ever notice the existence of my blog.
sometimes fear stops me from writing the true voice of my heart. it is fear indeed. fear of people’s judgement,
fear that people will know more then they should,fear that people will talk, fear to offend others..
GOSHED. what the hell, this is my blog, i have the right to write whatever i wish to.
im acting like a confused kid now.
OMG.
i was sick for the past 2 days. my body temperature went up to 39.4′c on monday night, managed to drag myself to class the next day and for the Amazing Factor’s meeting during lunch hour. skipped my afternoon class and went home at 1pm, fainted in bed right after i had my own cooked plain porridge and woke up around 7pm.My body temperature was still around 38.8, the dizziness, horrible body ache, the feeling like wana puke really drive me crazy. went to look for all the medicine that i took from the hospital last month and decided to take them coz the symptoms are similar. My housemates said that the medicine might be a bit too heavy for me but at the end i still consume it (with fear).
felt so much better the next day,my bodytemperature went down to 36.7 so i managed to attend the morning class and was active for the whole amazing factor event till 6pm, did the clean up with the other Sc members and we had a feedback meeting till 8.20pm. i did managed to prevent myself from vomitng by eating sweets and ’som boi’ for the whole day and drinking lots of water, reached home and had indo mee with the seaweed + carrot soup (prepared by my housemates) at 9.10pm-my dinner. felt worst and kept wanting to puke coz of the oiliness of the indo mee. checked my body temperature and found out that it went up to 38.6 again. so i took those medicines again and went off to bed. am feeling much better now but my stomach don’t feels right now. went to toilet for 3 times in the past one hour, had the ORS(oral rehydration salts) and Glukosa to prevent myself from dehydrated again.
i have class from 9 to 3.30pm today. should i go? or should i just stay at home and rest?
no matter how hard you tired to explain,
no matter how hard you tried to approached them in many ways..
somehow,
they will still wouldn’t understand what you have been through
andwhat you are going through now..
people just don’t understand,
they never will.some people can just forget the awful things that they have done to others
and continue their ‘happy’ life as if nothing had happened before,
i do not understand why dosome people still have to face,the guts
to praise and worship God when their mind is thinking on how to hurt that poor little someone,
some people are meant to be called bastard for the rest of their life.
[ this statement is referring to one person ]
yes,i have to admit that i have no right to judge a person
but i still believe that the wicked will get what they deserved someday,somehow..
its just the matter of time
so think twice before you hurt someone.
the wound may be healed , but the scars will remain forever.
with limited love,
[too little love to give away this time]
Love never fails
April 17th, 2008 at 4:41 pm
well, so long that you feel fine with letting out what you want to let out, who bothers bout what others thing. we all have our moments, either the good or the bad. it’s good at times to let out your feelings. cause if you keep it inside for too long, the next time you feel those same feelings again, it’ll be worst. so, its always good to pick up the pieces you left behind, gather your thoughts and continue walking straight ahead, no looking bad.. there’s always a better tomorrow.
hugs.
take great care of yourself okay??
April 19th, 2008 at 6:45 am
OMG you friend is so mean. When i was studying in NZ, my mum wrote me letters every week. Whenever I read, my eyes will be submerged in tears coz i miss them so much. Just do what you think is right.
April 20th, 2008 at 9:31 am
Happy,my very old friend, thanks for the words. =) thanks. i will be fine. hugs! xoxo
Dom, yea, that friend was really mean. anyway, thanks. =) heee