Miracles in Mind

please don’t let the past repeat itself

please don’t..

written by adelinecrystal

went to shop for a sport shoe just now

*before going out*

TAaaaaa-Daaaa!!!

My new baby =)

cost me about Rm180 after 20% discount

New levi’s jeans and new shoe

Gotta start jogging soon, been doing sit-ups everyday for almost a week now

twice a day

30times each(increase 5 times every2days)

=)

*at home*

*this is how i look like while writing this post*

LOL

quite lame huh this entry?

 p/s: i cant wait for my college’s prom =) 

going to bed now

Goodnight!

*winks*

with love,

adelineeeeeeee

written by adelinecrystal

When an emotional injury takes place,
the body begins a process,
as natural as the healing of a physical wound.

Let the process happen.
Trust that nature will do the healing.

Know that the pain will pass,
and,
when it passes,
you wil be stringer, happier, more sensitive and aware.

Mel Colgrove

written by adelinecrystal

have you ever realize that its just so hard to please every single person in our lives. to me , it is. its just toooooo hard that sometimes it makes me feel that im useless (or the either way, stupid) when i failed to please them. EVER SINGLE TIME, i tried my best, to satisfy someone else’s needs. their needs, what they expect from me, what they want from me, the people around me, especially my love ones. and whenever i failed them, my heart aches even more. i was convinced that IT IS POSSIBLE to please everyone around me, AH, not exactly everyone, but 99.99% of them. ( you are very ‘lucky’ to be the 0.01% ) anyways, as i’v said earlier, i dont think it is an impossible task. till one day, i was crushed by the one i love the most (maybe, maybe not) very badly, physically and emotionally. ( not to blame that person alone but that person is the worst case in my entire life) AND from that day onwards, i kept telling this to myself “yeah, IT IS AN IMPOSSIBLE TASK’ .i learnt to let go, to keep my one eye shut, to ignore, to forget, i’v learnt to keep my distance. i force myself to believe that not everyone i this world would need me, maybe they are just better off without me? yeah, exactly. im just no-one in their life, so why do i have to care for them so much that i hurt myself in the end? i really hate myself sometimes(maybe most of the time). often i ask myself, what have i done wrong to deserve this? i want to know the answer so badly. is it a sin to love and care for the one i love? i cherish every single person in my life, yes i do, but i cant plese everyone of them, can i? (??) now i’v learnt to give in less and sometimes give up on (others or myself- i’m not sure) . I’v learnt to keep myself from any possible danger, stay in my comfort zone but at the same time still holding on the little faith that has left in me to go on with my social happy-go-lucky life. i do not like to wear the mask. i know i dont have to, no one force me too, but the problem is, im too used to wearing the clown mask to please ppl while deep inside, im crying half dead. until now, i still do not understand why people can do such cruel things, spread rumors, create stories , twist their words, remember ONLY bad things and act as if i was never once appeared in their life and im not worth mentioning after all those times that I GAVE IN AND TRIED MY VERY BEST TO PLEASE THEM IN EVERY ASPECT of their life. to be there for them when they need someone to talk to, to be there when they needed any help etc. i would do my very best, to put them in my priority list. to get things done perfecty for them. to be there, ALWAYS, to feel the joy, the sadness in them. i smiled. i laughed. i hugged them. i tell them i do care, i love them and will be always there for them no matter what.wtf, what do i get in the end? YET i still believe in long lasting friendship, relationships and LOVE. i still do believe in fairy tales, happily ever after romance ( sily me) eventhough i’v been through so much in life. poeple let me down, people kicked and ignore me in their lives. aah, i feel so terrible, horrible. it kills. please dont do it to protect your lies, to cover up your stories,i just cant help it. i dont know why i still cant get over the memories, i forgive but i have not forget. others tend to listen to rumors, false accusations, they rather believe what their best friend told them without even check or investigate for the truth. they are blind folded. i would say, they sometimes do not want to accept the truth just because the truth is sometimes cruel and unbelievable. i also spent time trying to understand why people behave the way they do - why they tell lies, why they make up fictitious sources.WHY? why must they hurt others to make themsel perfect? aaa nvm, i always believe that the truth will reveal itself someday, somehow..(wtf). i smiled and posted up nice post, nice pictures, dress up nicely, jump around and act like an idiot at times, it doesnt mean that the hurt is gone, the wound is healed. it doesnt mean that im truly happy,(yes im contented with my life now, no doubt about it) life is good, life is great if you know how to live life to the fullest. but somehow, i dont know how, but somehow…i will feel emotional when im alone, especially in the dark. coz all the memories will once again hunt me down. my heart still ache, the tears still flow as if it has just happened a while ago. the wound still bleed. goshed. i don’t know how to put them in words. im sure that im not the only person in the world that experience this. But thank God that I know my own weaknesses and I KNOW THAT I MUST control my emotions (if not, i’m sure i will get into depression. i am 100% sure of that) i know i cant compare my life to others, they may have been through a whole lot of shit in their lives too. far worst then mine. i know. everyone has their own journey, their own purpose in life. their own thinking. all of the things, i knw, is out of human control. but i still hold on. I still do, for miracles to happen. i do pray, yes a lot. i do not pray loudly, in front of everyone or in what-so-ever special time in a day. i pray in my heart, i dont have to shut my eyes while praying,i can look at the people around me, pray while smiling at them (its up to me) i talk to God in my heart. praying for miracles all the time.

what/who really matters and what/who doesn’t at all? i’m still confused.

aah, this is so random.

please excuse me.

written by adelinecrystal

Just watched a movie called ’shall we dance’ a minute ago

can you feel the connection while dancing with ur partners?

i love those moves..

Some moves in Shall We Dance require a leap of faith,

but there’s a really heartwarming love story in here somewhere

p/s: i’m so touched that baby offered to learn dancing for me since i love it so much

=)

i miss attending my latin classes

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

watched monster in law last week with baby too

i think Jennifer Lopez is really incredibly beautiful & sexy

=)

written by adelinecrystal

OMG!!

Dear and i

Just won

Rm500 Cash

From FlyFM

a moment ago!

[11:43pm, 15th August 08′]

we participated the Fly Fm’s Music Moolah

sent 12 of sms ( each Rm0.50)

and you know what?!

Fly FM literally called right after i sent the last sms!

my dear was on the air!

HAHAAHAHA

he goes….(refer to the below pic)

HAHAHHAHAHA

“aawwwww…”

i dreamt that we are going to win 2k for the contest last night

YES! IM SERIOUS! IT WAS IN MY DREAM.

told my dear this morning abt the dream and we laughed

and

we really won,

But not 2 k lah,

rm500!

hahaha

good enough already!

=)

you know right, before i sent the second last msg, i was like telling my dear that i wont spend the money if we won it.

and when the DJs asked us the send in the msgs right now coz they are going to call the lucky winner, i was like holding my phone,thinking whether to forward the msg again or not.

me: dear, should i send the msg now ah, they are going to call now oh, how arh? if i send now,

and IF IF they call, cannot get through how? * with a wide smile*

dear: *laughs* u just send la, other ppl send hundreds of msgs also cannot get * continue laughing*

me: oklaa * send the msg*

-after 3 seconds-

received a call +03….

quickly pass the phone to my dear who was sitting right next to me, and they started talking ! LOL

HAhAH.

super drama right?!

couldnt belive it at first.

ahah

dear’s first reaction was like asking the DJs

‘ You must be jokking right?’

LOL

and he told the Djs about my dream too

*walalalal*

Oh Man!

its like a dream come true!

LOL

with love

=)

written by adelinecrystal \\ tags: happiness, Love

Went to buy chicken, pork and some vegetables with dear and his mum

after having an absolute delicious Dim Sum breakfast this morning.

Aunty sent us back home before she head to her office.

so, i was in the kitchen holding a few of the empty container,

wanting to divide the chicken into small portion before putting into the fridge.

heres the conversation that dear and i had.

me: ei dear, how your mum usually divide the chicken before putting into the fridge? (theres breast meat,drumstick etc)

dear: wait, i think you need a calculator to divide them. you can also plus, minus and multiply them too you know?

me: * trying hard not to laugh*

and guess what?

HAHAHAHHAAA

*i end up laughing non stop*

stupid laaahhh dear LOL

anyways,

about the POO.

it was about my dream actually,

the dream i had when i was taking my own sweet nap this afternoon.

heres the first sketch i drew(within 1 minute) .

can you see the bed, 2 toilet bowls with *shits*poo*, one sofa,a long cupboard, and 2 humans?

look at the 2nd sketch ,

more professional looking right?

walalalaaaaa~

okay,

have u guys got the picture yet?

alright then.

the dream was about me living in a super small room in some apartment in KL. There is a toilet bowl, a sofa,a long cupboard and my bed in the room. the sofa was my study place. and just right outside my room, there is another public toilet bowl. the wall is so thin that i could sense it whenever theres someone *poo-ing* over there. and you know whenever that someone flush the toilet, i would go “alamak..” and turn to my left side, looking at the toilet bowl. BECAUSE…. the *poo* from the outside toilet bowl will be transfer to mine and those poo will float there for at least 10miutes before it goes down to the drain.

LOL.

yea, thats about it. haha.

what a stupid dream right?

i was thinking in my dream,

“what a pathetic life im living in now”

LOL

don’t get me wrong my real life is Good

=)

that dream was so random and funny

HaHAHAHAA

i cant stop laughing the whole day today,

thanks to my dear and the dream.

I prepared the world yummiest fried rice for my dear today for lunch, just the two of us in the house. =) it s the yummiest friend rice in the whole world coz i add in my secret recipe-LOVE. HAHHA. and prepared dinner today for the whole family .Cooked curry pork rib.not bad after all =) glad they love it.

My dear googled for *poo* just now looking for a proper Poo picture for me when i was drawing my sketch in “paint”. He complained that my poo in the pictures arnt like poo. LOL.

we found all these cute funny pictures. =)

cute right? LOL

flower poo

chocolate oreo poo with candy

peanut looking poo

HAHAHAAA

lots of love

-the end-

written by adelinecrystal \\ tags: happiness

often i tell myself that it is okay to put up a strong front even though it hurts so much deep inside,

it is okay to cover the negative feelings just to avoid others’ pity.

but at times..

i know that

it is okay to let those tears to be free

it is okay to cry

never allow yourself to leave in denial

being honest to yourself isn’t a crime

Most people are not honest with themselves, and go to great expense to protect themselves from the reality around them. They do this by lying. Lying could, maybe, make a bad situation seem better in the short term but in the long term it will only make things worse.

There are a few common ways people lie to themselves and deny reality.

one of the most common one is -

depression

Refuse to think about something by trying to forget about it,

and bury it deep inside the mind.

i think, in a way, i am facing this now.

*covers face*

FEAR

-is the main reason why people lie to themselves.

Rather then confront a situation directly,

it is easier and less painful to simply to forget about it,

or deal with it later.

click  here  to read more

i have no idea why im sharing this topic

Hahaa

=)

well people..

it is time to say goodbye to yesterday and say hello to today

written by adelinecrystal \\ tags: mix thoughts

Abigail and I (friends for 6years)

Calvin and Winston (friends for 13years)

Liang Chiat and Marvin (friends for 13 years)

** Couples of the day**

Kris and Wins

Chiat with his lovely gf

Eileen and Marvin

**group picture**

1st left : kian wee ( friends for 8years)

Friends for life

=)

and theres another night…

Samuel Toh =) (friends for 10years)

abigail and i

at sea world drinking and talking with..

this most faithful friend of mine, Ahsan =)

(friends for 10years)

the last meet up before i leave Kch

i would like to thank u all for being able to make it to our ‘dates’ that few days

love u all =)

p/s:do leave a comment if u want any of those original pics.

i’ll email them to you.=) 

 and now..

my super adorable nephew!

we are both January babies *winks*

thats me 18years ago

=)

*random pictures*

Ha ha ha

Paris

got it from my man’s phone

he took this pic when he was in Paris 3 months ago

=)

written by adelinecrystal \\ tags: friendship

Halllooo Haaa!

Theres new updates in

Electric Gems!

” electrifying you with our latest gizmos at lowest prices “

few of my friends have comfirmed the orders from that website dy,

no harm spending a minute viewing their latest products since yu are here reading this

*winks*

who knows?

maybe theres aomething there that will attractyour attention

something that you are searching for

or

maybe something that will satisfy your needs!

=)

 disclamer:

this is a business of a personal friend of mine,

no credits given on promoting this website =)

written by adelinecrystal \\ tags: Electric Gems