Miracles in Mind

often i tell myself that it is okay to put up a strong front even though it hurts so much deep inside,

it is okay to cover the negative feelings just to avoid others’ pity.

but at times..

i know that

it is okay to let those tears to be free

it is okay to cry

never allow yourself to leave in denial

being honest to yourself isn’t a crime

Most people are not honest with themselves, and go to great expense to protect themselves from the reality around them. They do this by lying. Lying could, maybe, make a bad situation seem better in the short term but in the long term it will only make things worse.

There are a few common ways people lie to themselves and deny reality.

one of the most common one is -

depression

Refuse to think about something by trying to forget about it,

and bury it deep inside the mind.

i think, in a way, i am facing this now.

*covers face*

FEAR

-is the main reason why people lie to themselves.

Rather then confront a situation directly,

it is easier and less painful to simply to forget about it,

or deal with it later.

click  here  to read more

i have no idea why im sharing this topic

Hahaa

=)

well people..

it is time to say goodbye to yesterday and say hello to today

written by adelinecrystal \\ tags: mix thoughts

Always said I would know where to find love, Always thought I’d be ready and strong enough, But some times I just felt I could give up.

i haven’t finish packing yet,leaving in less then 12 hours time. sigh.
i wish there is someone i could talk to now. everyone seems busy.
feeling so weak deep inside. i have no idea why.
pass memories kept hunting me, my mind kept questioning itself, ‘what if this.. what if that..’
gosh, i had enough.
songs that reminded me of someone,something,some incident.. happy ones, sad ones..
so many good things happening around me now, so many blessing was given upon me.
it is unbelievable that i could finally fall in love once again,
it feels so good to hang out with my old friends once again..
*i miss timmy and malcolm a lot these days. i wish both of you were here with us in our little gatherings. was touched when i receive liang chiat’s sms. * thanks. =)
browsing through the pics, tears starts flowing. i’m glad that took all the pics,
i wish i could take more of them. pictures help to bring back memories, it is priceless.
thats why i always insist to take pictures. it tends to hold on to the moment, the feelings,
the memories.. it is indeed,priceless.
i have tons of pics to share in this blog. have to resize them first though, so it takes time.
u guys can view abigail babe’s blog, she updated hers, with pictures. lol.
i’ll be back.

love, adelinechen

written by adelinecrystal \\ tags: mix thoughts

I’v changed [Miracles in Mind] to [ Miracles in reality]
and i’v change a bit of the tag line too.

this is because i’v came to a point..a point when i finally realized that i DO need miracles in my real life(reality)not just in my mind. i crave for more miracles now. you know, its possible. just believe and have faith. you will experience it yourself, the miracles around you.
meeting my boyfriend was a wonderful miracle itself. its a testimonial to share.
till now.. it is still a miracle for us. the feeling, is special. none of us expect to meet each other and got together in such a short period of time. none of us expect that to happen in our life. we met, on the day he was having his farewell party with close friends,2 days before he leaves to France and i was only on my short trip to Melaka.
it was like a fairy tale story said baby,his mum agreed.
he was like the prince who came for the rescue when i was in the darkest side of my world. when i wasnt looking at my best.
when i was entirely heart broken.
when i was losing hope in love.
he appeared right in front of me.
like an angel.
Hold me tight when i was feeling insecure.
promise that he will be there for me no matter what happens.
telling me that ‘its alright’ when things goes wrong.
comforted me when i was crying half dead on the phone when he was in france 2 month ago. telling me that its not right to judge people.
correct me whenever i do wrong.
make me laugh like no ones business.
and most importantly,
he is always sensitive enough to know my flows,
patient enough to listen to my craps.
aah, communication is really important in the relationship.
we both agree on that.
owh, wait a second,baby reminded me of that actually.

coz i was kind of sick of talking, explanation and making my partner understand due to my past relationship. sigh it was a mess. total mess without communication. ah well, its over now. i’m seriously glad it is.

thanks baby for reminding me all that.
and..hey baby, just want to tell you that i really thank God for having you in my life right now. thanks for loving me as who i am. you know me well inside out. and you know what? you are good in reading my mind. hah.

read this lovely lady’s ( Karen Chen ) blog just now and found this line which i really love![ Love is, above all else, the gift of oneself ]Hope you dont mind me quoting this line of yours from you. =) *thanks babe*

I’v been reading a lot lately, each and every friends’ blogs.
Not just one entry but at least 50% of all the entries that they have written.
browsing through all the pictures they posted up, flashed back all those memories.. sweet,sad,bitter ones..i think i’m losing a lot of my close friends now.
if you were to ask me, who is my bestest friend now, i would say.. no one. no one really knows whats on my mind, what am i up to etc. the incident that caused me to be a bit anti-close-friends because all the while they know whats going on in my life
(i was a really open person about my life)
all i wanted to do is to run away from them, rather stay at home the home month, not socializing at all even though i miss them terribly much. sigh. coz i was or i am still afraid, i don’t know what and why, i’m just afraid that through all those rumors and accusation,who would stand on my side? how would they see me? what will they say? how am i gonna face them? can i just smile and act like nth happened? can i be my own self again in front of them?
no i cant, i’m not good in pretending you see. thats why i chose to hide.
aahh, but at least NOW i wont burst in tears anymore.
coz i know, its all not worth a single drop of my tears. thats a good thing right? =)
and once again, knowing that some of you that are on my side, i’m grateful for that.

AAhh, you know what? who cares how people think of me,
if you really know adeline well, you will sure know what kind of person i really am.
those external factors would never effect our friendship.
to those i really miss,
cindy
(i wish i could talk to you again,i really do miss you)

abigail law
(i wish i could drive you out, i have tons of things to tell you,something to give you too)

timothy su
(i hope we could meet before you leave malaysia,thanks for the random calls and msgs)

ahsan
(thanks for being there for me whenever i needed you)

malcolm Eng
(i missed our meet up,i’m sorry i couldn’t make it,i miss the old days i had with you)

matthew Andrew yiiiii
( i havnt talk to you for soo long,but i guess abigail will update you abt me xD)

Annabel
( I miss talking to you,why i dont see you in church?)

Carissa Sammy
(thanks for all the sleepovers talking advices and prayers)

Joanne Lim
(thanks for the hug you gave me that day)

Jenny Chan
(thanks for the hugs you left in my chat box)

Karen Chen
(thanks for the msg you wrote to me)

Edward
(heard that you are leaving soon,i wish you all the very best in your future undertakings!)

Pauline Tay
(read ur blog, hope you are doing alright there, God bless girl =) stay strong )

and the list goes down..

its 2.40am right now, 8th July 2008.

a long entry eh? i didn’t plan to write this much actually.

ha ha.
im sleepy now

to be continue..

love,
adelinechen
xoxo

written by adelinecrystal \\ tags: mix thoughts

[millions of ‘sorry’]

I am sorry. I know I’ve been really lazy in updating my blog now. And due to the weird pictures size in my blog’s setting (which I do not know how to edit) I’m kind of reluctant to upload pictures coz it is either too small or too big. Oh god, Jimmy Jimmy Jimmy please help me check the settings can? =)

[having a good life in KCH]

I’ve been in KCH for 10days already. Feeling lazy everyday. Pampered myself waking up at late hours (before11am) and do/eat/go anywhere I wish. I feel like I’m a grown up lady this time round, the way I see things has changed, I’m more mature in the sense of talking, doing things and making decisions. Mum and dad talk to me like an adult too (I think). LOL. I’m able to type letters for dad’s office documents, going to Banks to with mum to settle stuff and etc (mum always scold me coz I always do things slow and steady). For example, she pass me a cheque and drop me at a bank while she waits in the car. So I just take my time filing up the form and check through at least once or twice before putting in the cheque into the envelope and put it into the cheque deposit box. mum always shakes her head and say I cannot ‘cari makan’ if I continue do things like that, its not like I’m sitting for an exam or what. Things need to be done fast. But I know myself, hah, I like to take my time when I do things and make sure everything’s is alright. I don’t like to rush myself. aah, it’s just me. =) But I know when I need to be fast so don’t worry. 

[love]

baby gave me a few nice stuff from France to bring back for my family esp mummy. Heee. Yummy choc, tea, a botol of fine wine and sweets.LOL. brought back a few yummy stuff from melacca too for my brothers. =)

[shopping]

bought a few pieces of clothing from MNG sales. LOL. And bought 2 dress on the net. That was my first time e-shopping. Not so bad after all.LOL.

[my drama life]

Owh have I mention to u guys that I nearly can’t make it for my flight back to KCH last Wednesday? Hah. It was a very DRAMA day you know, just can’t stop laughing whenever I recall it. It was all baby’s fault. LOL. nola. Actually it wasn’t anyone’s fault. *Giggles* everything just went wrong, the timing, the jam, my mood. LOL. told you I was having my pms. LOL. Anyways, we made it at the airport just in time when the check-in counter was about to close. I was the last one who checked it, I rushed like a mad person, the airport was soo damn crowded and squeeze my way through the crowd. Ohya, plus the ‘toilet’ drama and the ‘flight’ drama thingy( if u wana know, can ask me personally, ver paishe to tell everyone here,hahaha). Woooww. HAH. It was really a dramatic day indeed.

[shocking good and bad news]

someone got together with the ex.LOL. yea, they are meant for each other . congrats to you both.

one of my friend is married, due to the accident he  the gf caused 10months ago. His wife just gave birth to a baby girl a few days ago. God bless them. He is one year older then me and the wife is my age if im nt mistaken. Young parents. 

My beloved sister in christ is pregnant, finally, 5 months. Congrats! =)

To a dear friend that I always cherish & pray for. I miss you. Congrats to you. You have finally got ur dream course. Continue to shine in ur new college life even though its not under Normah, Im still so happy and proud of you.you should be proud of yourself too. I know you have always wanted to be a nurse. You always look super good in nurse uniform. I still have our pics together in our uniform. =) Ur wish has been granted. Grab this opportunity and study hard. you will definitely do great there! i have faith in you =) you know, I saw you that day, waved at you but you didn’t look up.2 of your girlfriends saw me though and responded. Finally, after one and a half year, I finally get to see you, its good enough for me even though it’s from far. Still looking great, gorgeous. =) always love u as my sister no mater what happened. Looking forward to see you again my dear sis.

[friends and s0-called-friend]

Met my fellow EMPOWERED friends last Friday and met that heartbreaking bastard 2 days ago. LOL. Well, 7months has passed, I guess it is still hard to forgive and forget, but eventually, one day I believe that I will slowly forget but im sure I will never forgive. Not entirely tll the day he apologized and admit his wrongs in front of me personally. Which is impossible for him to do that.

knowing some of my friends are standing on my side. thats good enough for me, i’m thankful. thanks alot =) 

[useless me]

Had a mini accident yesterday afternoon, just in front of my house. LOL. Yea, I was driving. I volunteered to drive my mum to her office, ended up kena lectured. Feel so damn useless weii…Well, I guess I will never start driving. I don’t even know how to reverse the car properly. Kopi-O license indeed mum. i have no idea how can I pass my driving test one 20months ago. Sad case huh? *Sigh* there’s always extra cars in the house waiting for someone to drive it around. What to do, the 3 rd driver in the house is a useless driver. What a shame.

[holidayyy]

Im going to Bali for 6 days 5nights next week. Weeeeee!! Can’t wait for it! Haha. With my dad, mum, 2 brothers, grandma(dad’s side) and another guy cousin(sukma wushu guy aka future famous CHEF). Im gonna shop for beautiful dresses! Wear my bikini for the very first time! View the beautiful sunrise and sunset! And I heard there will be dolphinsss! =) mum been there with her friends, we’ll tour around Bali. wee!! hahaaa. Im so damn excited right now. Need to get my body in shape for the beach! LOL! *Winks*

I’m fying to SIBU tooooo a week after the Bali trip. One week stay there. =)

[bloggers meet]

im really sorry.I cant attend the KUCHING blogger meet. I didn’t know that my parents are making plans for the Bali trip. I will be in Bali that day that’s why I couldn’t make it for the special event. Looking forward for the pictures and post form u guys! =) have fun!!

[college life & student council]

I got the PR (public relation) leader post for my college’s student council’s board. Chaman is the Mr.President. LOL. so dot play play. LOL. I missed a few events happening in college now. The pool BBQ party,the yamcha, the ‘green day’, incoming orientations, prom night preparations, latin dance class. Owh! Kenneth(my latin partner) is happily enjoying his life there in US. He told me the sales there are really crazy! Ahha. Happy shopping/working/eating/playing there dearie! =) remember to bring the air back for me.LOL. I’ve forgotten the steps for our latin dance. Haha.

[cooking]

Bought a lot of laksa paste gonna cook laksa this Sunday for my family. (Brothers are excited, so am i. HAH) FIRST TIME. Laksa. Next week I will try to prepare tomato kueh tiaw. Heheee. Then then maybe I wana try to cook kueh chap too. My top3 yummy favorite food. Want to cook for baby if everything goes well, before that a few trials in KCH first, HAH. Ohya, I wana make sushi too for the first time too. LOL. =) been cooking a lot at home, in charge of the lunch and dinner at home for the family. Hehe. That is why I need to wake up latest at 11am every weekdays coz need to prepare lunch for brothers before they head to school. 

[parents]

sent them off to the airport this afternoon, they flew to KL for medical check up with my aunt and my cousins. Im going for the medical check up myself when im back in KL. Save up the air tickets and can accompany my 2 little brothers at home. Prepare meals for them too. =) parents coming back home tmr night though. =)

signing off now. Sleepy dy. =)

love,

adelineeeee

written by adelinecrystal \\ tags: mix thoughts

this is how i look like now. LOL. one word-vain. haha. oh well, i’m going out with baby and his 3 other KL friends tonight.just dressed up, writing this entry now to kill the time. =)

goshed.you know what? i’m having that kinda mix feeling again and damn i hate my mood swing. pms. sigh. =(

I’m flying back to KCH tomorrow, yea thats right. Tomorrow. 25th June 08. goshed, i’m gonna miss my friends here especially baby. we bought the happy sim card that enables us to talk long hours with the maximum charge of 99cents per call. very worth it eh? so check it out on the website couples! =)

watched “Get Smart” with baby last night. it was hilarious. we had popcorn too. LOLx. not bad after all =)and we watched “no reservations” too on the laptop just now after lunch. its a nice movie, some part made me cried, e.i:when the little girl lost her mother in the car accident =(

hmm, what else to share? owh well baby is going to send me back to KL to pack and then he will drive me all the way up to the airport tomorrow for my flight, sweet isn’t he? =) owh ya! i went to church last sunday with baby and his mum.

p/s: to the anonymous and boom in my chatbox, 4 weeks at the banner means 28 days actually, not one month.LOL. try to take 7days x 4 weeks = 28days. see? =)

and for your information, tomorrow is our  4th month anniversary. =)

signing off now. i will be in KCH then for my next entry

*hugs and kissess*

love,

adeline 

written by adelinecrystal \\ tags: mix thoughts, mood swing

what a stupid title. LOL. i have no idea what to put. so please excuse me. LOL. alright, i’v promised myself that today i will write out a proper entry about my life right now and maybe a bit of the past and the future or maybe a little bit of reflection about myself. came out with this idea when i was bathing just now *goshed, the weather is super duper hot*

so here i am lying on my bed composing this entry.

well, i check my blog more than 5 times a day,99% of the time i’v failed to create a new entry. write, erase, write.. save as draft.. continue writing.. end up deleting it *sigh* I’m just so out of words. i can’t blog like before anymore, i miss the times when i can just blah everything here in this public blog of mine,entertain my readers and keep them updated everyday.i can even write a few entries in a day or at least one a day about my life. its like a routine already.

SO i will force myself to express a small part of myself today in this entry. coz as time goes by, i slowly realize that i often fail to express myself in words. i don’t express myself so much anymore. i have so much to say, so much to share, so much to complain about, so much to explain… but they just kept repeating themselves in my mind as my mouth refuse to speak them out. yayayaa, i know what you are thinking- its all in my mind, i’m the one who is in control of my mouth,sigh,yes, i know that and i did tried but words just cant seems to squeeze out from my mouth* and nowadays i often say the wrong thing. baby kind of *lecture* me on that 2 nights ago. because my words,which i didn’t mean it, constantly indirectly and directly hurt him a lot these few days.

We had a heart to heart talk then, hmm, ei no no no, its more to he talk and i listen session. but i don’t think he was happy coz he said ‘ you will only make things worst if you don’t express myself’ SO i did talk a little. still remain silent most of the time though as words just cant seems to come out from my mouth. Just constantly nodding my head and secretly pray that he will forgive and forget the things that I’v said me there and then.coz i know, if i were to be in his shoe, i will be hurt too.

i’v learnt so much from him,indeed he is a mature thinking guy.i feel like I’m so young and so immature whenever he correct my bad, in proper and loving ways of course *winks* he always has his own ways to make me listen and understand things that he said. and Im really impressed by his everything , not everything but almost.. everything .. so yeah, he is my man. * yeah i know, i’m easily being impressed, but THIS is different* =)

i watched “ps i love you” last night, Mr.Bf had a terrible headache so i gave him a massage while watching the movie THEN he fell asleep half way.lol. so ended up, i watched the movie alone. i cried so so hard throughout the whole movie though i know what’s gonna happen and stuff yet i still failed to control my tears from flowing. and uhm..i wouldn’t say its a great movie coz to be frank, i didn’t really like it. BUT BUT seriously the book itself is really GREAT! worth reading. aaahh, anyways, i have been reading a lot these days, blogs,newspapers, books as i have nothing to do at home(correction: baby’s place). i finished a book Cecelia Ahern- If only you could see me now. and currently i’m reading her new book- Thanks for the memories. =)

thanks to abigail babe. I get to know this wonderful author,Cecelia Ahern, few years back when i was in Form4 through her (she borrowed me the ps i love you). do you remember those times babe? =) i miss you.i always laugh whenever i read ur entries,seeing the things u wrote and the silly funny pictures u posted up.LOL. cant wait to see you dearie and ahsan them too , heee . xoxo. =)

watched Prom night and it was not as good as i expected it to be. disappointment.TOTALLY. Its not worth watching. don’t like the story line and the sound system was really bad in malacca’s cinema. i missed “ONCE” movie though, it an international movie shown in GSC KL, but i didn’t managed to watch it due to some reason. sad sad.

owh, right! i changed my status in facebook, finally.lol. most of my contacts noticed it.lol. =) 

Uhhmm, apart from reading, i did managed to do some cooking and helped out with some of the housework too =) i cooked few rounds of barley drink and green beans for the family due to the hot weather in malacca and a complete set of dinner for the family. Baby has been bringing me around malacca for  yummy food. i was shocked to know that there is still a RM1.50 nasi lemak stall. its really yummy and the portion is just nice for a girl’s stomach.haha. u can have a meal here for less then Rm3 including drinks if you know where to eat. LOL. still trying all the yummy foods, famous dim sum, kuih muih etc..i think i’v gained some weight now *faints*

Baby surprise me by making a facial appointment for me 2 days ago. He did mentioned about it few times before that but i didn’t really bother coz i though my face is good enough. mana tahu he really went to make an appointment for me. *sweetness* That was my very first time going for this kind of facial treatment. LOL. u wana know how does it feel? ahh, PAIN. LOL. the lady say that i have a lot of big black heads *i don’t even realize it myself* haaa. the whole facial process thingy lasted for 2 hours.i dozed off a few times coz i was really relaxing after they squeezed out the black heads for you. After the facial, i’v been thinking- i will be 20 next year, so think its time for me to take my face more seriously before its too late.owh, did i tell u guys that i bought a set of KOSE product a week ago in KL? it cost me around RM400+ *half-pengsan* actually there’s nth wrong with my face, i just need to maintain it. lol.  

There’s gonna be a Farewell poolside BBQ party organized by Eddison (organizer of RAVE party) this sunday.. and i’m going to miss it as i’m in malacca right now. sobs. well, what to do, its my choice. anways, U guys have fun la ya? i will wait for the pictures!! heee. 

i always ask myself, am i a materialistic person? i mean, do we girls aim for rich guys who could afford to satisfy my material needs? a person who take the bills wherever we go, buy me expensive stuff and etc. ahh, i’m just a middle class young teenage girl who recently goes for some little , not-so-expensive branded stuff like ROXY handbags and slippers, Anna Sui’s cosmetic, Carlorino’s purse and heels etc..lol. i stillll secretly wish for my burberry handbag though. Well,i always tell myself that its not the time yet.i havn’t even got my first pay check. i still can control myself over this issue. BUT seeing those girls who are much younger wearing/holding LV,Gucci,Burberry hadbags and stuff to college really *tooot* me off. they are like 16? 17? 18? ahaa. damn lucky girls.

uhm, okie, back to the point.. girls, how do you feel if ur BF told you that ” if you wana go for all those branded, high end material stuff, then i think you are with the wrong person right now.i couldn’t meet your standard and i will definitely disappoint you” how will u react? (Disclaimer: this is nth personal, its just a question) 

phew.i’m going off for dinner now, baby’s mum cooking. most probably going out for a movie tonight, yeahhh! been at home for the whole day, stupid MSN not working. tried to sign in for millions of times but failed, i don’t knw why. sigh. 

i wana go to the zoo, i wana go to the beach…lallallaa. baby’s busy painting the house with his dad whole day. he got darker now, more manly. LOL. oh well,its okie.. i just have to wait then. I have plenty of time. =)

love,

adeline 

written by adelinecrystal \\ tags: happiness, Love, mix thoughts

Its been so long since i last updated my blog. do you guys miss me? have u guys ever wonder hows my life going?heee. *winks* well,time do flies eh? i have just completed my Year1 semester 1 degree. having my summer holiday now =)

yesterday was my last paper and the RAVE party last night was a BLAST! =) It was a GREAT success seriously. i’ll upload the pictures here and in Facebook soon after i got them from my friends.

my Latin partner went of to the US last week =’( Im going to miss him and latin so much, not going for the classes for a while because i will not be in KL for almost 2 months.

a good friend of mine called last week, we talked for half an hour on the phone about all times. man, i do miss my high school friends. the fun and laughter we had in school, skipped school for breakfast-laksa during our form5 time, aaww, i miss laksa.

can you believe that i finally drove a car? it feels so good, seriously, i don’t feel that useless anymore.after 1 and a half year,i got the courage to drive. thanks to my sweetheart. all credits goes to him =) im going back Kuching in 2 weeks time. Jimmy msged me asking me out to sing k dy. hahhaa. very fast ho? lol.

7.6.08 by lyne  

currently into mariah carey’s new songs in her E=MC2 album.the song thanx for nth reminded me of someone. “I cant even know what to say, i’ve been hurt, i’ve been played and i’m so ashamed i can’t even cry, its that deep,you just lie and you cheat like its nothing, see you said you loved me to and so i trusted you. aye BOY but thanks for nothing. you were just playing a game.”

even so, i wish you well.

written by adelinecrystal \\ tags: mix thoughts

dear friends..dear abigail babe.
just wana tell you all that im not lazy in updating my blog k..
its just that,i am extremely busy with my work and theres nth much happening in my life here too since the last entry, was battling with my assignments this entire week.
didn’t sleep well for 3 days already, 3days-slept for 10 hours in total. amazing right?
everyone who get to meet me this 2 weeks will see the worst part of me, i mean, with the panda eyes,pimples, tiring look and…..*sshh*
i spend at least 15hours with my books and laptop everyday. now i feel so smart. done so much reading. haha.
*i’m sorry if i ignore some of u guys in msn, im sorry if i ignore u guys in college and at home..im sorry i didnt manage to spend time with u girls talking and eating like how we used to. i sorry for not going for meals together..im sorry.
i just don’t feel like smiling at times, talking. don’t feel like entertaining others-i don’t have the extra energy to do so. but no worries, adeline will be back soon, it will be over soon =)
went to my latin class just now for one hour, my partner is a sweet guy.LOL.
Sunny really can dance man! elaine is really good latin dancer too.
love to partner with her, she got the power to push and turn.
when i dance with her right, i feel..weeeeeeeeeeeeeee~
geng-ness!
syok-ness!
LOL. 
lalalllallaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
didn’t take any new pictures coz im not in the mood for the entire week.cried over the phone, in the shower, in bed few times. LOL.

i am fine now don’t worry.=)
i just need rest.going to bed soon.skipping dinner.
going college library tmr morning till noon.how i wish it opens till night.
i’ll just pray hard.hope everything goes well.coz im doing my best now.

love,
adeline

written by adelinecrystal \\ tags: college life, mix thoughts, mood swing

sorry for not updating much lately, especially this month.
i have been busy, very busy, stress and emotional.
no more class. having study break. 
will be at home and lib most of the time i guess.

9 more days to my assignments due date,
15 more days to my finals and baby’s home coming. 
19 more days to my 3 months plus holiday. =)

I’v finally bought my Roxy handbag(s),
Anna Sui’s Dolly Girl perfumeand Jlo’s Glow after dark perfume.
satisfied. seriously.
but i’m not feeling right.
like what michelle said,
what i’v spent is enough to feed an orphanage for a few months.
yeah, thats quite true.

enough of pampering myself after that incident.
i still remember it clearly,
the things and the words that hurt me so much. goshed.
its been almost 5 months. i wish i have you before.
how i wish i could turn back the time and reject you for the second time.

well, i know i deserves more.i’m so glad its over.
BUT the feeling being betrayed, being disappointed,
being used will still remain..

Watched What Happens in Vegas with the michelle,Adrian and Charman at GSC oneU.
Done my hair too at Monsoon ID.
Latin class was great today ,
most properly gonna meet our guy partner next friday.
we are now practicing partner dance.

time flies, its saturday again. sigh and happiness. told ya, mix feelings.

i seriously don’t know whats on my mind now.

have some pictures to share.

Jessie honey’s 21st Birthday where J girls meet each other again.
our once a month date =) 

goodnight everyone =)

with love,

written by adelinecrystal \\ tags: college life, mix thoughts

this girl is not thinking right again. She cried herself to sleep last night without knowing the reason why. she sobbed to be exact. funny isn’t it? Its been so long since she had done that to herself. Didn’t really sleep well last night, woke up 3 times in the middle of the night, wasn’t sure what’s on her mind, she just feel like crying again and again under her blanket hugging her soft toys, hoping that her roommate didn’t hear her. As the result, her eyes aren’t that bright and shinny today. I think she got her eye bags too. Goshed . that is terrible. Woke up around 8 in the morning, had a long cold shower,refreshing her mind & soul and had her honey oats drink as her breakfast.

She is listening to her favorite songs, writing this entry while waiting for the time to go college for a meeting.
After latin class, she’s going to have her hair cut and maybe going for 2 movies ‘over her dead body’ and ‘ definitely, maybe’ or ‘ fool’s gold’ with her date.
It weird knowing that she’s not craving for any popcorns this time.
she just need a break, away from people, so she doesnt need to smile at all times even though her heart is aching deep inside. laughing and crying freely in the cinema hall, in the dark, watching all those romance drama.
Scary movies are a NO for her, she’s not going to pay to scare herself to death.
Dinner at One Utama and must be home before 8pm to do her assignments.
Taking cab though.
thinking of going to sing K alone,but its like so weird when people see her go into the room alone, singing alone for hours. hahaa. yea,she do mind what people thinks about her.

You know there’s an international guy followed her in college yesterday after the RAVE graduation Party’s promotion, luckily Chaman and Wan yoe were there in front of her so she ran into the lift with them.
*thats funny and scary at the same time*
She was about to walk home with her whole piles of books and files. darn heavy.

last night there’s a whole bunch of firemen came to her house due to the honey bee hive behind her house. but they couldn’t spot the hive last night. The stupid warden , Mr. Lee called them up and report t to them but he didnt inform us that the FIREMEN will come for our rescue. so geng ah, the girls were like ‘wow’ , coz they never met so many firemen in uniforms and the HUGE ‘fireman’s car’ personally( have no idea what to call that ) anyways, after checking and talking to the girls in the house, they climb out from the back of the fence to the main road to their ‘HuGe car’. hahaa. thats so so so funny, came in through the front door and went back through the fence behind the house. it was like a kungfu movie where you see a bunch of ninja men climbing the fence.LOL. all of the girls n the house were like expecting them to jump.

the weather is so fine now,
think its gonna rain anytime soon or around evening time again as usual.

alright! thats all for today, she has to finish up her drink,
grab her heels and head to college now.
=)  

good day everyone!

written by adelinecrystal \\ tags: college life, mix thoughts, mood swing